Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly
Gates, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the
advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance, a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer
three questions:
1. What are two days of the week that begin with "T"?
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered:
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
3. God has two first names, and they are Andy and Howard.
Saint Peter said, "Ok, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not
the answer I expected. Technically, your answer is correct. But how did
you get 12 seconds in a year and why do you think God's first name is
either Andy or Howard?" Forrest responded, "Well, January 2nd, February
2nd, March 2nd, and so on."
"Ok then, I give," said Saint Peter. "But what about God's first name?"
Forrest said, "Well, from the song...Andy walks with me, Andy talks with
me, Andy tells me I am his own...And then from the prayer...Our Father,
who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."
Saint Peter let him in without another word.
First, this is how I am, except I don't need a day. Sometimes it's just
minutes and I will come up with something unusual but feasible. I see things differently and see them right away.
Second, an easy way to use the computer for a speech exercise, is to subscribe to a newsletter like the site I used to get the joke (or you can get an inspiration) and read it out loud. You can read to a spouse, friend, child, pet,
plant, etc. I'd read to my computer.
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This site offers a newsletter cutomizable to many religions or just spirituality. I used it to get the joke. They also offer inspirational statements. The same can be done with a statement as a joke. The topic should interest you. You can subscribe to an adult joke or off-the-wall trivia.
